


Secrets

by benevola



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Love Confessions, Minor canon divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:28:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26473411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benevola/pseuds/benevola
Summary: Anders and Marian Hawke go stargazing
Relationships: Anders/Female Hawke
Kudos: 10





	Secrets

“We lie beneath the stars at night  
Our hands gripping each other tight  
You keep my secrets hope to die  
Promises, swear them to the sky”

(“Young Blood” by Naked and Famous)

Anders sat upon a log, staring into the fire. They were at the Wounded Coast -- again. This time looking for the Viscount’s son who had run off with the Quinari. He suspected the boy was having an affair with one of the huge, horned warriors but he couldn’t prove it yet.

Soft footsteps interrupted his thoughts, and he began reaching for his staff. When Marian Hawke entered the ring of the fire’s light, he lowered his hand with a sigh. 

“Bloody hell, Marian, I nearly set you on fire! Why are you out here? It isn’t your watch yet.”

Hawke shrugged and walked over where he sat. Her hair was loose and flowing, rather than in her usual plait. He’d never seen it like this. She wore loose trousers, tied at the waist, and a too-big and well-worn linen shirt that kept slipping off of one smooth shoulder. He suspected the shirt had belonged to her father. She looked -- vulnerable. Exposed as the woman she was, rather than the killer who wielded double short swords like a damned whirling dervish. 

“Can’t sleep” she slurred, scrubbing at her eyes with one fist. His breath caught, still thinking about how open she was at that moment. He realized he was staring. 

“Anders?” 

He continued to stare. 

“What?” 

She gazed down at him with a smirk. “I said, could you _please_ budge over so I can sit?”

“Oh! Yes...of course.” He thought he must be sitting too close to the fire, because suddenly he was sweating. “Please -- be my guest.” He gestured to the log as he moved over to accommodate his scrappy leader. 

Hawke plopped down next to him. “So...how about those Quinari?” She suddenly began giggling, leaning hard against his feather pauldrons. “Maker, I’m so tired. I think I need a holiday. Do you ever wear anything other than these robes? I mean, they’re nice and all, but sometimes you just need to loosen up a bit.”

Anders turned towards her and smiled crookedly. It had taken some time for him to get used to her stream-of-consciousness way of talking. She almost always had something important to say; sometimes it just took her a moment to get there.

“I wear other things, just not while on watch. I mean, what if we were attacked by darkspawn and there I was -- just me in my smalls, waving my staff around.” 

Hawke snorted loudly and nearly choked. “Something, something staff...oh Anders, you make it too easy sometimes.” She stretched, arms behind her back, chest out. he tried not to look, but failed miserably. 

“Damn, this log hurts my ass. Let’s lie down and look at the stars.” Before he could say anything, she jumped up and ran into her tent, returning with a blanket. She chattered as she smoothed it out on the ground. “Carver and Bethany and I used to love doing this back in Lothering. We would lie with our heads together in the middle, like spokes on a wheel.” She scrubbed at her eyes again, and Anders pretended not to see the tear running down her cheek. 

She found a clear spot near enough to the fire to stay warm, but not so close that they couldn’t see the stars in the night sky. Flopping down with a satisfied grunt, she reached up and pulled on his coat. "Come here! You look like you need to relax -- we all need to relax. Join me down here so I can talk to you. Oh, and take off those damned feathers; they make me sneeze.”

Anders grinned, and began working at the complicated buckles. He knew that he was probably at least halfway in love with this strange and beautiful woman, and as he joined her on the blanket, he realized that had probably always been the case. 

Marian clapped her hands in delight as he lowered himself down next to her. “Excellent! Just me and my favorite mage. Mage. What an odd word. It sounds like sage. Cage? Rage! Don't enrage the mage or he'll put you in a cage! I should become a poet.” She burst into laughter again, and grabbed at his hand. He startled at the feel of her small, warm hand in his. “There, that’s better. Now lie back.” Hawke placed an arm across his chest and shoved him back onto the blanket. 

For a while, they were both quiet. She was close enough that he could feel the heat coming off of her body through her thin garments. He felt her shiver, and had an idea. Slowly, giving her ample chance to pull away, he brought his arm around Hawke’s shoulders and pulled her in close. For warmth, of course. Hawke sighed contentedly and laid her head on his chest. He felt his heart pound and wondered if she could feel it too. 

Hawke purred. “Mmm...so nice." Then she lifted her head and poked him in the chest. “Itchy! How do you wear this itchy thing?” She picked at his robes, working the buckles with her clever fingers. “Is this wool? Don’t you get hot? You should take this off.”

Anders laughed and slapped at her roaming hands. “Okay, okay. I can do it!” She sat up and grinned as he removed the heavy (and apparently itchy?) garment, and soon they were both down to soft linen shirts. As Hawke laid her head back on his chest, he had to admit that it was a great idea. Possibly the best idea he’d heard in a long time. 

“Anders?” she murmured. He suddenly realized he’d been tracing circles and runes into her hair, wondering how it would smell. 

Yes dear...Marian?” Damn. He could feel her eyelashes fluttering on his bare chest where his shirt fell open. Yes. Definitely probably in love. Maker…

“Can you keep a secret?” 

He felt her breath against his skin and willed himself not to react in any way she might construe as creepy. “Uh..yes. I mean...of course I can. Anything for you.” There was no turning back now. 

She sighed. “Anders, I think I might be in love with someone.” His stomach lurched. Who? That cranky elf? The pirate? Choirboy? _Varric_?? He thought he might be sick. 

“Who might that be? I mean, if you want to tell me. Do I know him? Her? Them?” He couldn't remember ever being this flustered around a woman before. 

She absently traced a pattern on his belly, and he both hoped and feared she’d bring it down further. 

“You do know him. Very well, in fact.” _Him_. It _was_ Varric. 

“I do?”

“Uh huh. He’s tall…” (Damn that elf)

“He’s kind…” (fucking Sebastian)

“He’s funny…” (Varric!)

“And he’s you.” She raised her head and looked at him. “He’s you, Anders. It’s always been you.” She leaned over and kissed him softly. “I love _you_.” 

Oh. OH. Wait. Did he hear that correctly? 

“Marian?” he whispered. “I love you too. Honestly, I think I've loved you since the first time you came into the clinic, demanding to see my maps. Since you agreed to help me with Karl, despite the fact you didn't know me from Andraste.”  
He sat up and gently took her face in his hands. She felt warm and soft...and perfect. Then he kissed her. 

He kissed her in the way he’d wanted to kiss her for years. For all of those nights he lay alone in his tiny bed, aching for her touch. For all the times he’d followed her on her travels around Kirkwall, watching with amusement as she rummaged around in every barrel and crate, squealing happily at each pair of torn trousers and tiny piece of agate. For everything. 

She was the first to break the kiss, one hand stroking his hair, her eyes bright, and shiny with tears. Then she abruptly turned her head and glanced up at the sky, shoving Anders back with an “Oof!” 

“Anders! Look! It’s a falling star! You have to make a wish on it. Come on, make a wish! Make it a good one or else it’s wasted.”

He smiled at her, and his heart swelled with affection. 

“Don’t worry, love.” he whispered. “It’s already come true.”

**Author's Note:**

> While bored during quarantine, I picked up DA2 again, years after my last play through. And (as is almost always the case) my Hawke fell in love with Anders (I've adored him since Awakening, though I'm pretty sure we are trauma bonded now. ;) )
> 
> My Hawke was also easily distracted, running around between every crate and barrel and pile of rubble and making all of the party's trips between locations longer and not really very direct. 
> 
> This is my Hawke -- rambling, distracted, impulsive, and charming as anything. :)


End file.
